THE TRUTH

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photo by : Poppy Miyonga

Hey loves! It’s been almost 2 months since I put up my last post on here. WOW I have missed blogging. A lot of my friends and of course you guys have asked where I’ve been , or did I stop blogging? The the truth is, I took a break from EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE. I had to for my health, my sanity, for my growth.

 

WHAT HAPPENED?

To start off, a couple of months ago when I left Australia, I hadn’t officially announced that I was leaving Australia for good. I left for very many reasons. Mentally I was all over the place and felt like, I NEEDED TO BREATHE. I came home to my mom and my cousin Hellen ( FYI we don’t live together but we see each other often) .  As much as I thought I was okay, because I suppressed  a lot, I wasn’t ok and that eventually led me to a hospital where I was almost admitted into. The truth is, all I was doing for a while was pushing myself and my engine had no fuel in it, I couldn’t stand people, I had the worst social anxiety and hid in my house, and I began to hate myself. I went off of social media for a really long time. I did it because it felt like noise for a while and felt a tremendous amount of pressure.

6 MONTHS

The truth is, the first 4 months of my life were hell. It’s an understatement to say I couldn’t get out of bed, but I could barely take a shower everyday. I couldn’t dress up. Leggings and sweatshirts were my go to no matter where I went. Both my mom and Hellen noticed this huge change in me. But it’s not that I was lazy, but physically couldn’t dress up everyday. I was always uncomfortable or in pain ( which also had to do with the serious back problems I was facing). I did nothing but cry to my therapist, and my best friend about how I felt like I wasn’t myself and felt like everything was spinning all the time, I felt out of focus or I guess out of touch. But into the second week of April, I guess you could say a shinning light came through, I saw doctors, got on the right medication where I began to get the right help. I will say that a lot of spirituality helped me.  I few weeks prior, I created a vision board ( BLOG POST + VIDEO COMING SOON) . 

Even more importantly, I had the best 3 individuals hold my hand along the way. And after that along the next two months, I manifested so many things I wanted in my life!

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WHAT IS TO COME? 

First off, I’m moving to… LONDONwords cannot describe how incredibly thankful I am to not only have the opportunity to head to the school of my dreams but to live in the fast, vibrant city of London! I will pick up blogging and try my best to produce regular content. I want to keep being open and honest with all of my readers, not just about my successes but bumps along the way too! Lastly, give the best advice I can based off of personal experiences. Remember: THINGS WILL FALL INTO PLACE 

WHY I DECIDED TO SPEAK UP ABOUT THIS

There is such a standard for perfection and sometimes we forget we’re human, we can definitely have our doubts about our future and we can grow from the worst of experiences life will give us, but THINGS WILL FALL INTO PLACE.  I don’t want to put a false impression of who I am or how my life is going; I choose to be open about it because it will help me grow and I hope it can do the same for you as well!

The last thing I want you to take out from this post is ; life isn’t necessarily about our success or our failure, yes that will make up some part of it. But majority of it will be growth and be the women or men we want to be.

 

Kisses ,

Petronella Risita

 

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