BAD DAY

bad day

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My cures on a bad day, or a bad week. 

Hey loves! WARNING THIS IS GOING TO BE A LONG POST. I had a completely different post that was supposed to go up today (I usually plan and pre-write my posts for the month) but I love being honest with you guys and so I have to tell you that I decided to put this post up instead because it’s coming straight from the heart and bad days are never scheduled. Oh and feel free to listen to this throwback song of David Powter’s Bad Day.On my blog I love being my true authentic self with you guys and it’s so reassuring when I get messages from you all and you tell me how you might have been struggling with the same thing I was or you can relate to a particular thing I’m going through. A lot and I mean a lot has happened over the past week and a half and I quickly found myself exhausted and emotionally drained. I love being productive and just constantly “going”, so really just keeping myself busy. I had my spring break probably two weeks ago, and it was so much fun, I met some amazing people, some even more attractive ones haha, and I had so much fun with my friends. I was partying and living it up and it felt good because I’m not one to go out to a bar or club every weekend, I like to do comfortable things over the weekend like go out for dinner , go to a friends house, stay home and snuggle up to some tea and watch a movie etc. So this felt like a well deserved break. Somehow this break seemed to end the worst way possible by me , strangely, out of the blue getting sick. None of my friends were sick, I didn’t have any physical interactions with anyone sick so till now I’m not sure how the two and a half days of me feeling really crappy happened. As soon as I got better,  the VERY NEXT DAY, I planned to hang out with my friends and we were later going to go to a bar which gives students a $50 voucher on drinks for the whole night , and I got my own voucher. I have no idea why this seemed like a good idea to me but we had a few pre-drinks at my friends place and were set to go, it was almost 11 pm when we decided to go  and didn’t want to pay $40 for an uber so we stayed home. I woke up the next day feeling really crappy and just like I really did not want to be around anybody, I still kind of don’t. The day after that ( last Friday) I packed up my stuff and headed out to my friend Zéwie’s house for a “weekend type getaway” , I had so much fun, and she gave me exactly what I needed, a lot of sleep and a chance to relax and not feel so incredibly overwhelmed. That’s when I thought, “Oh I’ve got my shit together now , everything’s gonna go back to normal”. I got home on Sunday, cleared up my room and the apartment , and then began to do my “winter cleaning”, cleaned out my whole closet with summer attire, and started putting in my knitwear and chunky comfortable socks oh and I watched Estée  on youtube’s video about being organized , which you can find here . I was sooo glad! I finally felt like hells yes , I’ve got my shit together. Then Monday came around, and there was so much to be done I slept at 5 am , and felt overwhelmed with emotions (meaning my mind wasn’t actually at rest but constantly thinking) only to wake up and have a full day of classes, still feeling overwhelmed, but now I feel behind and just insecure, feeling like something is wrong with me and contemplating the moves I’m making , the person I want to be and the person I want to be with. I woke up today and it was like I was drowned in emptiness, literally, I woke up and the first thing I said was “What to do when you’re feeling empty and got loads of responses, some helpful, some funny, some besides the point. It’s almost like it only went downhill from there. Although I woke up and had already established I wasn’t having a good day, unlike not doing anything about it. I decided to do things that will make me feel better about myself and not about my day because it’s me that’s feeling shitty, it’s not affecting anybody else. After my cousin left from visiting me earlier today, I took a nap because I’ve been exhausted this week and my body needed to rest. I then woke up and drank half a jug of cold water because I was dehydrated and I love cold water. I then got some fruits to eat and hoped into the shower and washed my hair , shaved , did everything necessary for me to feel like my true self again . I then got out, took out my face mask by lush cosmetics which you can find here , and decided to pamper myself, my skin needed it. I then sat in front of my computer, finalizing plans for the summer, well Australia’s winter ( which I will tell you about soon) and online shopped, because I love shopping and it’s been a while since I splurged ( last time I shopped was two weeks ago, new record) a little bit.  I then headed to my kitchen and made myself a “green juice” which was basically spinach, apples, strawberries and some water, I love this stuff and I have it everyday. Now because I took care of myself I felt better already but now, I needed to feel productive and intellectual again, so I grabbed my favourite magazine Vogue , this month’s Mario Testino issue and the book I’m currently reading ” #GIRLBOSS and focused on that for a while. I feel slightly better now and I know everything will be better, it’s just a bad day (well a bad fucking week) not a bad life. I think I need to put everything into perspective, my goals, my life, my current situations and perhaps my future ones. I think the past week I’ve gone through so many things at the same time and the exact same emotions came out of it , unhappy, disappointed, worthless. The rest of this week I have to work on that. Have you been off the wagon as well? If so, let me know what you’ve been doing to help you and I could take a few tips.

Hope you appreciate all the honesty.

Kisses,

Petronella

 

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